As I was editing one of my short stories I began thinking about how we interact with others around us, especially mom’s. We want to be good mom’s and do the right thing for our kids but too many times we do not help each other out the way we need it because of the fear of not coming across as perfect.
I am at fault so many times of not asking for help because if I ask for help everyone knows I can’t do it by myself. The thing is no one can do it all; we all need a little help from time to time. That is the hardest thing to admit sometimes; that we need help or even just a friend.
I remember the phrase “It takes a village to raise a child”, this is true but our villages have disappeared because we do not feel capable of asking for help. We listen to or participate in passing judgment on others so we feel better about what we feel are flaws in ourselves, while others sit back quietly suffering because they don’t want to be judged. What we all need is to stop judging each other as women or moms and simply look out for others who need our help or those who can help us. Maybe if we spend more time showing love and compassion to someone who needs a little love we will feel less like judging.
We need to accept that we will all make mistakes and give ourselves and others Grace for mistakes and stand next to each other holding each other up, because nothing is stronger than the empowerment of each other.
A Woman is like a tea bag: you cannot tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. –Nancy Reagan
I need help everyday to be a good mom and I want to spend each day building up other moms who need help as well. How can you help another mom around you today? What can you do to build up someone else today?
This last week has been a crazy one at my house. The flu hit with a vengeance here and not only was I down for the count but it took the two boys down as well. Nothing kills creativity like a brain that has been through a three-day fever and then taking care of fevers in two other people while still in a fog.
I was unable to do anything that I normally make myself do within a normal week and I wondered how much of what I juggle is truly important. Now that I am trying to pull myself out of the pile of everything left in our wake; piles of Kleenex throughout the house, medicine cups strewn all over the kitchen counters, cough drop wrappers on the floors, and homework piling up for not only me but my boys as well, I wonder if I can do it all. Do I put too much pressure on me as well as my boys to always live up to all the responsibility and not leave enough time for the good times? Did I wear myself out so much that when I got sick, it took me out?
One of my short stories that I wrote is about a new mom trying to feel that she is “good enough” to be a mom, wondering if she will be able to raise her kids and not be a failure. I believe that I feel that way too often and last week when I was at my weakest, the wonder of if what I do for my kids is enough was at its strongest.
- Am I feeding them healthy enough?
- Am I spending enough time with them?
- Am I letting my teenager know he can turn to me when he needs help?
- Am I teaching them the lessons they need to learn?
- Am I helping them enough in school?
All the questions and pressure is certain to make anyone sick! That was when I realized I had gotten completely out of balance. I was trying to be the perfect wife, finish up my school with nothing short of all A’s, start my career as a writer and I was trying to raise my children to be the men I hoped they would be and help them get through school to be successful but I was causing it to be so urgent that it had to happen perfectly now, not a process like life always is.
I was forgetting the most important parts;
- grace for when we make mistakes!
- fun times so we can all recharge,
- and God to help us with what we cannot control.
It wasn’t until day three of watching my children stare at a television and my severe case of writer’s block that I realized we all needed time to recharge and also reconnect outside of our responsibilities. I will not take life so seriously all the time. I will get back to the love of writing, spending time with my kids, playing outside and reading before bedtime!
Keep healthy everyone!
“You will never feel truly satisfied by work until you are satisfied by life.”
― Heather Schuck, The Working Mom Manifesto